SONA sa Mata ng Kolehiyala

Owwemgee. It’s the SONA time of the year again. Ugghh. I really hate this you know. There goes El Presidente P-Noy nanaman on our 40′ HD TV. How will I make panood America’s Next Top Model nyan? Nako. I’ll have to make sumbong him to Tyra. Buti na lang the new season is not out yet.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate the president naman. Sometimes he just acts a bit moronic. My God. Our blind masseuse is even better than him in hitting the trouble spots. Maybe he should get tutorial from Mang Boy. Haha.

Well, if you asked me, our president should solve na the problem of poverty. It’s like so tagal na kaya. My grandlola said that we used to be a rich country envied by our neighbors. But now, we are so urban poor. What happened? Or as my yaya used to say, “Anyare?”.

I swear, if poverty is not resolved, there will be a lot of squatters nanaman. Oh. Informal settlers na pala is the political name for them. Naker. They are so everywhere na talaga. Minsan tuloy its so dyahe na tuloy to make byahe na to my alma mater THE ATENEO. Uggghhh. If it is not so presko to make the trip through tito ninong’s chopper,  I would have done so. I’ll just pray for them na lang as Mother Superior always does.

And what’s this issue nanaman with the rebels? Hmmp. I swear na sometimes they are just so bitchy. Pero secret lang ha. They might kidnap me and ask for ransom e. Plus, I might get raped pa. With my oh-so-gorgeous body e who knows? Hihi. Anyways,  as I was saying. Them rebels are so bitchy they should be made to watch Jersey Shore. I’m sure they would understand each other very much. Owemgee. I just got another bright idea. Why not put them all on Spratley Islands na lang kaya. With them being so territorial, I’m sure those F4 chinese pushovers would not make porma na. Haha. See? I’m so great no?

What’s that? You’re asking me what are my political views? Isa lang is my answer to that. World Peace. O ha. I’m like Ms.  Universe kaya. I still believe that something can be done to save this country. It may take more than 5 years to get us there but if we hold on together, I know our dreams will never die. What you sang that on your head? I swear you’re so tanda na. Haha. When all else fails, migrate na lang.

O sya. Seems the president’s speech is like over na. Got to go pa sa Starbucks to make chikka with my girlfriends pa about that cute guy Mario Maurer. And it seems that pogi k-pop guy Rain is already over his mandatory military service na. Toodles!

[Salamat kay Kristine sa pagbabad sa akin sa kolehiyala accent. Bilang ganti,  di ko muna i-QA yung gawa mo. Haha.]

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